Saturday, November 16, 2013

How to Prepare for a Major Exam



An Instructional Essay
“A Letter to My Niece – How to Prepare for a Major Exam”

To all my fellow Uncles,
and to all the Parents, Grandparents, Aunts, and Guardians out there,
please know that I also wrote this for your Children
– on behalf of You.

My Dearest Mariz,

First of all, let me greet you a very Happy 21st Birthday, may God always bless, guide, and protect you!

Congratulations as well on your recent graduation from the esteemed University of Perpetual Help, with the degree of Bachelor of Science in Pharmacy. I am very proud of you, and I praise and thank God for your achievements.

Now that you are preparing for the board exam, I decided to re-write this article which I previously wrote for your Kuya Miguel, and to post this updated version here -- especially for you.  [ When Luiz is old enough to take his own board and/or bar exam, please encourage him the way I am encouraging you now. (My Dearest Luiz, This is of course also for you.) ]

Your Mama, Papa, Kuya Miguel, Baby Brother (Luiz), Grandma (“Mommy”), and I love you very much. We pray for your success as regards your forthcoming board exam, and we will always pray for you as regards everything else in life.

God bless you always,
Tito Jun
Manila, November 16, 2013

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HOW TO PREPARE FOR A MAJOR EXAM


Rule No. 1 – Study one page at a time, solve exercises one paper at a time.
That is really all that you can do.

·         There is no point in worrying about how well you will do with the exam. Worrying about it will not accomplish anything.

·         All you can do now is to perform the simplest nature of your work, which is to read your review materials one page at a time, and to solve practice tests or solve exercises one paper at a time. Think of it this way, if you were a runner, then all you should be focusing on is “just putting one foot in front of the other.” Similarly therefore, "just study one page at a time, and solve exercises one paper at a time." That’s all, no need to think about anything else.

·         And remember that quality matters more than quantity. There is no point in having lots of books or review materials (to give yourself a false sense of security) if you cannot actually review all of them. Just choose the right amount of books and review materials that will really help you, and stick to them.


Rule No. 2 – Just focus on what you are doing, do not look around too much.
Do not worry about things beyond your control, and ignore the things around you that are not relevant to your review.

·         If you have family, friends, or even former classmates who have already taken and passed the board exam, don’t let their achievements intimidate and pressure you.

·         If you are attending a review school where you have classmates who came from other colleges or universities, and if these classmates seem brighter, faster, and better prepared, and the colleges or universities they came from seem more prestigious than your own, then just tell yourself,
- “Okay, fine, they seem brighter, and they come from schools that are apparently more prestigious, but they have absolutely nothing to do with me and my own performance. Therefore I will just ignore them and I will keep doing what I am doing, focusing on my own review, according to my own style, according to my own pace, and according to my own personal best.”

·         Don’t keep looking around to see where you “stand in the race.” Don’t keep checking whether you are ahead, at par, or behind. (And this doesn’t only apply to the work of studying and preparing for a major exam, it also applies to life and career in general.)


Rule No. 3 – Study according to your own learning style.
Do what works for you, and be prepared to accept partial understanding while in the classroom.

·         If you are reviewing for a board or bar exam, it means that you already have a level of intelligence and a style of learning that is adequate, simply because it was enough to enable you to finish college (or medical school or law school). Therefore it is best that you continue to remain confident about your capabilities.

·         If for some reasons the teaching style at your review school is something that you are not used to, or is something that is not working entirely for you, then while you are in class be prepared to accept partial understanding. Just review by yourself at home, it’s as simple as that.


Rule no. 4 – Do plenty of seatworks and homeworks, and take plenty of practice tests.
The exercise of taking tests is a skill by itself. It is not enough to possess knowledge, you must also be conditioned to take tests.

·         Therefore apart from reading books and reviewing materials, you must also practice taking tests by frequently solving problems and exercises, preferably under time pressure. Remember, “Practice makes perfect.”

·         There will be good days and there will be bad days. Good days are the days you feel sharp and energetic, and you get good results from your practice tests. Bad days are the days that you feel dull and tired, and the results of your practice tests are not so great. It’s okay to have bad days, that’s normal. If you are the kind of person who has finished college, then most likely you are the kind of person whose good days significantly outnumber the bad, therefore you will be fine and you have nothing to worry about.


Rule No. 5 – Keep in mind, this is a marathon, not a sprint.
Therefore you need to sustain your energy, enthusiasm, and performance for a long period – which in your case is five months, because that is the length of your review.

·         Eat properly, try to get some exercise, and enjoy your family and friends.

·         Try not to overwork yourself from the very beginning. Just like in running a marathon, you don’t run too fast at the start, because you will immediately get exhausted and not anymore have any energy towards the end.

·         I’m not saying that you should relax and take it too easy for the first two months of your review and then work hard only during the last one or two months. You should do your best from the very start and all throughout. But be careful not to burn out and lose energy towards the end of your review up to the days of the board exam themselves, because that is when your performance will matter the most.


Rule No. 6 – In case you also happen to be working, then believe that it can still work out.
Someday, you might take another major exam, and by then you may already be working. Pertinently, if you happen to be working while you are also reviewing for a board or a bar exam, don’t think of it as a hindrance.

·         Keep in mind that a lot of people finish college (as well as medical school or law school or graduate school), and they eventually pass their respective board exams (or their bar exams or comprehensive exams) by attending school only in the evening because they have to work and make a living during the day. Therefore, if they can do it, then you can do it. It is not impossible.

·         Accept the fact that you need to work to make a living, in fact be glad that you have work and are able to make a living. Then just do your best with your review. It’s really as simple as that.


Rule No. 7 – On the last couple of days before the exam, just relax.
Try to get some rest the last couple of days before the exam.

·         It may be difficult to stay away from your books and completely stop reviewing, but at least try to be more relaxed. Three or four months of review, the last eight weeks being more intensive, will be adequate. On the last couple of days right before the day of the exam itself, try to relax. Get some rest, watch a movie, eat well.

·         The day before the exam, be sure to prepare your exam permits, be ready with your pens and calculators or whatever other materials you will need, be ready with money and/or food you will have to bring, and be sure to know where you will be taking your test and how you will get there (n.b., indeed it is better if you visit the place several days in advance).

·         You may hear about tips or leaks about the exam. Ignore them. They will only cause anxiety and confusion. If you have responsibly done your best during the several months of review, then that is already more than enough and you’ll be fine.


Rule No. 8 – On the day of the exam itself, again, just relax, and focus.
When the day of the exam finally arrives, just try to relax.

·         If you get a bit nervous, that’s okay, it’s normal.

-          Mariz, You can talk to you Papa or Mama or Grandma or me in case any concern bothers you. And on the days of your board exam, you can count on us to pray for you, even offer Holy Mass at church and light candles at home for you. And if you want, your Papa or I can even accompany you to the place where you will take your exam, and we will standby there the whole day, so that we are there any time you need us. Okay?

·         Inside the classroom where you will actually finally take the exam, don’t be surprised if you see some bizarre behavior on the part of your fellow examinees. Some of them may talk too much, some will be too optimistic, some will be pessimistic, and some will do something simply unusual (like doing yoga in the middle of the classroom in order to reduce their anxiety). Just accept and respect them for who they are, be friendly and civil, but remain personally detached (let’s face it, you hardly know these people and you may never meet them again after the board exam), and most importantly just focus on doing your best with your exam.

·         If you finish ahead of time, stay and review your work. There is no point in being the first to stand up and hand in your paper for all to see, just to show how much faster and smarter you are. That’s just silly, and in fact is not a smart move at all. Stay in your seat and review your work. More often than not, you will find a mistake among your answers and you will therefore have the chance to correct it.


Rule No. 9 – Do not worry about the results of the exam.
I pray that you pass your board exam, and I believe that you will. With the kind of abilities, self-discipline, academic training, and upbringing that you have had, I am confident that you will pass any major exam that you take.

·         However, if for some reasons, you do not pass a particular major exam, then no problem, just rest a while and then take it again. (Or if you never want to take it again because you would rather do something else, then that is fine too). Don’t let it discourage you, don’t let it cause you to believe less in yourself and make you doubt your potential. It’s just an exam, and one single exam cannot define you.

·         Notice that I entitled this article “How to Prepare for a Major Exam” and not “How to Pass a Major Exam.” Sometimes things happen that are beyond your control, for instance you may unexpectedly get sick on the day of the exam, therefore despite months of diligent preparation you may end up performing not as well as you hoped to (i.e., still passing the exam but not attaining that high grade you aimed for), or perhaps end up actually failing the exam. If that happens it would be natural to feel sad, but you shouldn’t let that leave a permanent scar on your self esteem. You as a person are still far more important than any exam.
-          Most of all, your Mama, Papa, Kuya, Baby Brother, Grandma, and I will always love you very much no matter how you perform in any exam, whether it pertains to this forthcoming board exam, or to any other exam or challenge that you may have to hurdle in the course of your life.


Rule No. 10 – Pray
Most of all, pray. Always pray.

·         Pray often, to seek and receive help from God. Meditate, to remain calm and focused.
-          I suggest praying the Holy Rosary. Mariz, Do you remember the Rosary I gave you last November 2010 as one of my pasalubongs (presents) for you after Mommy and I returned from the Holy Land? Why don’t you start using it now? Up to this day, whenever I pray the Rosary, I use the Rosary that Mommy gave me more than twenty years ago (after I finished college). You might want to start doing the same with the Rosary I gave you.”

·         The saying goes, “Do your best, and let God do the rest.” This saying holds true. And it will always hold true, not only with regard to your board exam, but also with regard to everything else in your life.  

·         On a final note, rest assured that your Grandma and I are very fervently praying for your every single day, with regard to your preparation for your forthcoming board exam, and with regard to your entire future and everything else in life.  Please remember that we love you very very much.  May God bless you always.  



For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord,
plans for your welfare, not for woe!
plans to give you a future full of hope.
When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you.
Yes, when you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me with you, says the Lord.
Jeremiah 29 : 11-14


Take delight in the Lord,
and He will grant you your heart’s requests.
Psalm 37: 4


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REFERENCES:


·         RECOMMENDED VIDEOS
Mariz, Please view these videos if you can spare the time.

-          Identity and Stereotype Threat, Lecture at Columbia University by Dr. Claude M. Steele, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1fzIuuXlkk
This video is relevant to my advice on not letting the abilities and backgrounds of other people affect or intimidate you (see Rule No. 2).

-          Anxious Students Gain on Tests by Writing About Fears, ( Based on Dr. Sian Beilock’s research on “Choking,” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjyC2m7k4MI
This video teaches you the anxiety-reducing technique of writing about your worries, so that you don’t choke or under-perform on the day of your board exam (see Rule No. 8).


·         BOOKS
Mariz, You don’t have to read these books (someday perhaps, but not now). I have already read them myself, and everything I wrote in “How to Prepare for a Major Exam” is based on what I learned from them, apart from what I have learned from my own experience.

-          Study Smart (The Princeton Review) by Theodore Silver, M.D., J.D.

-          The Psychology of Learning Mathematics by Richard R. Skemp, PhD

-          Overachievement: The New Model for Exceptional Performance by John Eliot, Ph.D.

-          Choke: What the Secrets of the Brain Reveal About Getting It Right When You Have To by Sian Beilock, Ph.D.

-          Overcoming Procrastination: Or How To Think And Act Rationally In Spite of Life’s Inevitable Hassles by Albert Ellis, Ph.D., and William J. Knaus, Ed.D.

-          Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns, M.D.

-          Stress/Unstress: How You Can Control Stress At Home And On The Job by Keith W. Sehnert, M.D.



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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Believe It, Or Not

Earlier this evening, I was doing some internet research, and somehow, with absolutely no intention or premeditation on my part, I ended up on this website: http://holyecards.com/mon/francis/francis.shtml

It is a novena to my personal patron saint, St. Francis of Assisi, and the novena starts TOMORROW.

Hmmm …

Okay, fine, I can take a hint. I will start praying the novena tomorrow.

And mind you, this is not the first time. Please see http://francissoliloquy.blogspot.com/2012/09/i-think-he-is-really-watching.html

What can I say? My patron saint is very thoughtful, and very attentive. Indeed, all I can tell him is this …

Dear St. Francis,
I love you too.
Francis 
:-)



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Saturday, September 14, 2013

Faith Is More Experiential Than It Is Rational

Many years ago, a friend quite blatantly told me that he found me embarrassingly weird for having a spiritual director (n.b., a Catholic priest). He further suggested that my prayer-life was a psychological crutch, and that it basically showed that I was incapable and intellectually weak. In other words, I relied on prayer too much because I was not adequately capable of analyzing and solving the day-to-day problems that come my way, both in my professional and personal life. 

I did not argue with him because I did not know how. Faith is not a matter of reason. Indeed faith is a matter of believing even when there is little or no reason to believe. Ultimately, it is thus difficult to engage in debate regarding faith, because debate is primarily a matter of reason.

More importantly, faith is a matter of experience. And once you experience God, you will keep believing no matter what. You will keep believing no matter what reason people throw at you to convince you to give up your belief. You will keep believing even if you lose in debates on the subject of faith. You will keep believing even if people accuse you of being irrational and intellectually limited.

Besides, that friend of mine was just too bright for me. He was the valedictorian of a very prominent high school in the Philippines, he also graduated cum laude in Computer Science from a prominent university abroad, and at that time he was a top computer expert in a major multinational company in Hong Kong. He was also seven years older than me and therefore by virtue of experience he was really ahead. I was simply no match for him intellectually, well at least not back then.

That friend of mine basically belittled me and my faith, but that was many many years ago. Recently, I read about his current whereabouts, I found some details over the internet. Let's just say that he is now a far cry from what he once was, he has taken very many steps backward, and I wouldn't trade places with him.

As for me, I will keep praying.

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Saturday, March 30, 2013

Being Prudent With The Sacrament of Reconciliation



THE DISTANT PAST

First of all, let me emphasize that I do believe in going to confession.  As a matter of fact, despite being a layman who is much more thoroughly involved in his professional life than he is with any form of church-based activities, I have had two confessors.  Namely:

*   Fr. Sylvain Rabiller, MEP (a Father of the “Missions Étrangères de Paris” or Foreign Missions of Paris), who was my confessor in Hong Kong.  He was sent by his religious order to Hong Kong as some sort of “advanced party.”  Among others, his mission was  to study the Asian culture and to relay his findings back to his order, to better prepare other MEP fathers who will later on also serve in Asia.

*   Fr. Francis Hubilla, OSB, a Benedictine Father.  He is a clinical psychologist (i.e., a PhD candidate in clinical/counselling psychology, lacking only the dissertation), and former Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences of San Beda College in Manila. 

Indeed, whenever I saw them to ‘say confession,’ it was always face to face, no holds barred, and the sessions usually lasted for at least an hour.  I have also had a few other competent confessors whom I selected and sought out, but so far Fathers Rabiller and Hubilla have been the most significant.

I am all for saying confession.  The problem is, many priests are not qualified to hear confession.

Many, many years ago, I visited a church in Makati.  (I probably even attended Holy Mass, but I do not recall for sure.)  After spending some time in prayer, I entered one of the confessionals at the back of the church in order to say confession, not expecting that I would have one of the most traumatic experiences of my life.  For the sake of objective case analysis, I will waive the seal of confidentiality and will disclose here “some” or a “variation” of the contents of the confession.  Basically, I confessed to the priest that I have harboured anger in my heart, that I have been angry towards certain people for quite some time, but I have always been very patient, never acting on my anger, and always holding my temper.  I was hoping that the priest would give me advice on how to subdue my anger and even sublimate the emotional energy, and quite frankly I was even expecting that he would even commend me for not acting on my anger.  After all, what we actually do is more important than what we feel.  Unfortunately however, the priest did not see it that way.  The priest lashed out at me.  “You should not feel angry! It is wrong to feel angry! Blah, blah, blah!”  He ranted away, which was quite ironic, because while he was scolding me, he himself was very angry.

After that, I promised myself that I will never go to confession again unless I was very certain of the competence and intellectual maturity of the priest that I would be saying confession to.  (Years later I would read St. Teresa of Avila's "The Way to Perfection," where she advised that we should indeed be thoroughly careful in selecting confessors, thus affirming my decision.)


RECENT EVENTS

Last December, I decided to once again go to confession as soon as I find the opportunity to do so, or more specifically the right confessor.  Indeed, since then I have specifically included in my prayers a supplication for “a cleansing and edifying confession.”  Pertinently, since I believed that it was just a matter of time and my prayer will be answered, and thus I will be able to say confession once again, I deliberately took time to contemplate on what sins I could confess, and I even wrote them down in an organized manner.  In other words, I have deliberately been praying and preparing for confession since December 2012, or for nearly four months.

Two evenings ago, Maundy Thursday, I took my Mom for our annual Visita Iglesia.  I did not expect to have the opportunity to go to confession, therefore right before leaving the house I did not bother to review my notes on the things I wanted to discuss during confession.

During Visita Iglesia we normally visit seven churches.  When we arrived to the fifth church, I saw that confessions were going on.  Therefore even if I wasn’t prepared for it, I decided to take the opportunity.  I did not know any of the priests hearing confession, I did not know what religious order they came from or whether they were diocesan priests,  and I certainly had no assurance that they were more competent (as confessors) than the priest who lashed out at me in that church in Makati many years ago.  However, since I was very desirous of saying confession before Holy Week was over, I decided to take the risk.  After all, what are the chances of having another botched up confession, two impromptu confessions in a row, after so many years, right?

Again, for the sake of objective case analysis, I will waive the seal of confidentiality and will disclose here “some” or a “variation” of the contents of the confession.  This is how it went:

Francis:  “Bless me Father for I have sinned.  I cannot exactly recall when my last confession was, I think it was three years ago.”  (I did not know how to explain to him that I have in fact had full-time confessors/spiritual directors in the past, and that I have eagerly prepared for this confession since December 2012.  I did not know how to explain these things, so I did not.)

Priest:  So it’s been a while.  Go on.

Francis:  I cannot recall all my sins (because I did not review my thoroughly prepared notes right before I left the house), however I do recall one particular sin (which is actually a central and underlying sin that has evoked the other sins).  I have allowed myself to be often worried.  The nature of my professional work entails so much constant and extreme pressure, that I cannot help but become worried and anxious quite often, not having enough faith that God will pull me through.  As a result, I can get irritable and judgmental, sometimes taking it out on other people.  (Note:  Later in the evening, when I finally got home, I reviewed my notes and realized that I actually did not miss anything of significance.  That is, the foregoing sin of “worry” was basically it.)

Priest:  You know, there is a correlation between the frequency of your visits to confession and the number of sins that you recall.  Blah, blah, blah!  If you go to confession often, you will be able to recall all your sins.  If you don't go to confession often, you won't be able to recall many of them, just like the way with you now.   Blah, blah, blah! 

(I said to myself, “Uh-oh, here we go again.”  He spoke in a rather authoritative and condescending tone, obviously scolding me.  We were in a confessional, thus we could not see each other.  But judging from his voice, I imagine that he was younger than I, he was perhaps in his 30’s, probably even late 20’s.  He was very fluent with English, though.  Quite articulate, I imagined therefore that he was probably very good in school, perhaps even graduating at the top or near the top of his class back in the seminary.  I have known quite a few priests like him, graduating at the top of their class, academically competent.  But when it comes to the practicalities of the real world ... well, no comment.  It is only when they get older, when they reach their 40s, that they finally start to really mature.  Anyway, I was so tempted to argue with this particular priest and give him a piece of my mind.  But I managed to hold my temper and refrain from arguing.  After all, I believe that in the confessional, he as priest is just an instrument, and that the conversation is not between me and him, but actually between me and God.  Therefore out of respect for God, I subdued my temper and held my peace.)

(The priest then continued, and asked me a question that nobody has ever asked me before.)

Priest:  So, have you defrauded anyone?

Francis:  No.

(He then asked another personal question, the kind of question that we never ask people whom we just met, and which I will not anymore specify here.  And then he continued to ask me more questions, one after another.)

Priest:  Have you been practicing (he cited a particular virtue)?

Francis:  Yes.

Priest:  Have you committed (he cited a particular sin)?

Francis:  No.

Priest:  Have you committed (he cited another sin)?

Francis:  No

Priest:  Have you committed (he cited another sin)?

Francis:  No

(My answers came quick and easy, because I was telling the truth.)

(There was brief silence.)

Priest:  All right, I now absolve you, etc., etc.  For your penance, say the Act of Contrition, and then spend some time with the Blessed Sacrament.

Francis:  Okay.  So do you want me to say the Act of Contrition here, now?  How does it go?  (I did not know how to say the Act of Contrition because there are several versions.  Note that the church has a penchant for revising prayers and liturgy every so often.  Even the most basic prayer, the “Ama Namin” (Our Father), which is normally sung at Mass, has so many versions that oftentimes during Mass I am more preoccupied recalling the right words and melody, rather than being able to focus on praying the prayer itself. )

Priest:  (Speaking with a tone of exasperation.)  Okay repeat after me.  “Lord Jesus…”

Francis:  “Lord Jesus”

Priest:  “I’m sorry for having sinned.”

Francis:  “I’m sorry for having sinned.”

Priest:  “I love you.”

Francis:  “I love you.”

(And that was it, it would have been easier and less awkward had he just told me to ask God for forgiveness with any prayer I could spontaneously come up with.  We exchanged a few more words, and then I was out of the confessional.  I couldn’t wait to get out.)

I sat on one of the pews and I prayed.  “Lord, what on earth was that?  I’ve been praying for a cleansing and edifying confession since December, but right now I feel somewhat violated more than anything.”

I was very disappointed.  Nonetheless I tried to shake off the feelings of disappointment and frustration, and simply refocused my attention to the rest of the Visita Iglesia. 


ANALYSES AND CONCLUSION

Regarding the “correlation between the frequency of your visits to confession and the number of sins that you recall,” quite frankly it sounded to me like the priest was more concerned about compliance with rituals and traditions rather than my well-being as a Christian and as a person.  Besides, although there is virtue in being cognizant of one’s own sins and shortcomings, if you frequently recall your sins then there is the very real danger of descending into a mental disorder of debilitating guilt-complex, self-deprecation, self-rejection, and low self-esteem.

Moreover, I think I already “confessed” more than enough.  “Worry,” “anxiety,” and the relevant “lack of faith” were already very substantial and rich topics.  We could have discussed these "sins" at length, and very fruitfully at that, if only he was more mature and competent as a confessor.

Also, if I were in his shoes, I would have started the conversation with, “I’m very glad that you finally came back to confession after all these years.  Welcome back.  I wonder, is there any reason that it took you this long?  Did anything discourage you from frequenting confession?  Would you like to talk about it?”

As regards the successive questions about my possible sins, there are two ways to look at it, two very different ways:

-    One way to look at it is that he was just helping me perform an examination of conscience, he was just helping me recall the sins that I could not readily recall. In other words, he was just being helpful.

-    Another way to look at it is that he assumed more power and authority than he had the right to wield.  Not only was he condescending, he was also controlling.  Come to think of it, he probed and interrogated me at a very personal level, which is why I felt violated.  Quite the opposite of being helpful.

The way I see it, I can still give him the benefit of the doubt.  After all, I do not know him, I am not familiar with his track record as a priest and as a person, and therefore apart from the brief encounter in the confessional I have no basis to form an opinion or theory on whether or not he really meant well, in other words I do not know his character.  Thus, as I said, I can still give him the benefit of the doubt.

However, one thing is for sure, and that is the fact that he can still use more training.  Helping me “perform an examination of conscience” may actually be innocent and in some ways helpful, but there are better ways, and I have already explained a couple of samples.  We all owe it to ourselves, and to the people we serve, to always pursue some form of education (through self-study and/or formal graduate education) in order to continuously learn of better ways of doing our jobs.
 
Truth be told, in my observation, most priests (and even nuns) are in dire need of training in Management and Counselling, among other things.  Indeed, I am seriously considering this concern for my doctoral dissertation.   Come to think of it therefore, it may have been an edifying confession after all.  But in a different and unexpected way. 


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P.S.   

As much as I love the Catholic church, I do not hesitate to call a spade a spade.  However it is not with the objective of criticizing for criticism's sake, but with the objective of helping attain improvements and rectifications.  I will never abandon or hesitate to defend the Catholic church, but I will also not hesitate to help put it into shape -- from within.