Many years ago, a friend quite blatantly told me that he found me
embarrassingly weird for having a spiritual director (n.b., a Catholic
priest). He further suggested that my prayer-life was a psychological
crutch, and that it basically showed that I was incapable and
intellectually weak. In other words, I relied on prayer too much
because I was not adequately capable of analyzing and solving the
day-to-day problems that come my way, both in my professional and
personal life.
I did not argue with him because I did not know
how. Faith is not a matter of reason. Indeed faith is a matter of
believing even when there is little or no reason to believe.
Ultimately, it is thus difficult to engage in debate regarding faith,
because debate is primarily a matter of reason.
More importantly,
faith is a matter of experience. And once you experience God, you will
keep believing no matter what. You will keep believing no matter what
reason people throw at you to convince you to give up your belief. You
will keep believing even if you lose in debates on the subject of faith.
You will keep believing even if people accuse you of being irrational
and intellectually limited.
Besides, that friend of mine was just
too bright for me. He was the valedictorian of a very prominent high
school in the Philippines, he also graduated cum laude in Computer
Science from a prominent university abroad, and at that time he was a
top computer expert in a major multinational company in Hong Kong. He
was also seven years older than me and therefore by virtue of experience
he was really ahead. I was simply no match for him intellectually,
well at least not back then.
That friend of mine basically
belittled me and my faith, but that was many many years ago. Recently, I
read about his current whereabouts, I found some details over the
internet. Let's just say that he is now a far cry from what he once
was, he has taken very many steps backward, and I wouldn't trade places
with him.
As for me, I will keep praying.
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